I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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