After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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