oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
