i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
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