This girl is more easily done than said...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
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I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
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You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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