Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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