And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
