OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
