I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
