The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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