There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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