Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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