To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i think im in europe. pls send help
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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