I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
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I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize