Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
