he puts the penis in happiness.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just found puke in my bra..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
