You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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