I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
