i may or may not be watching the land before time
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
