So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
