Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
last night I used snow as a chaser
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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