Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
