What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
