I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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