We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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