i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize