Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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