He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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