a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
