My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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