As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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