she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
