No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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