Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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