sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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