i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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