We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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