please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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