I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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