i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
