sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
