im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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