Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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