when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
