It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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