you mean i was at the winter classic?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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