At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize