it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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