dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
