he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
