ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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