Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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