Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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