well you can't waste a boner
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
