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my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
two words: eviction party
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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