Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
