If i come over, it means nothing
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
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