making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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