She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
