My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
