I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
